


Why Bake A Cake When You Can Beat Your Meat?

by gutspiIIs



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Porn Without Plot, Save Me, handjob, sort of I mean theres a small baking plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12811188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gutspiIIs/pseuds/gutspiIIs
Summary: Oh dear god it's 1 am and I felt the want for more squere fanfics and thus this shitty fanfic was born. Literally it's so bad I'm so tired and I'm too lazy to go through and edit and add to it.





	Why Bake A Cake When You Can Beat Your Meat?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks dont comment bashing in this ship thanks, write some actual squere you cowards stop w that toxic shit. Anyways written at 1 am enjoy.

Now, Jeremy had to get in some community hours for highschool and while it wasn't his most favorite thing, he took up helping out with a bake sale and he knew he had the ingredients at home to make a cake, but he certainly had never baked one before. Cooking and baking wasn't his most strong suite. The brunette was now googling tutorials, leaning on his elbows on the kitchen counter as he scrolled through google search results until he found what he wanted. His Squip had been rather quiet that day due to the computer making a few system changes and minor upgrades, save for the odd voice chiming for him to stop slouching or what to say if the words couldn't form in the brunette. So, when a figure materialized behind him and said,"I can assure you that recipe has too much water put down for the batter and it doesn't have enough butter," Jeremy jolted a bit, startled, turning to the other with a deer in headlights expression for a moment. "R..Right."

He went to find another recipe, before he felt the AI knock into the other's hand so the phone fell from his hand and tumbled onto the counter. 

"Hey what the h-" Jeremy had begun to talk before being cut off.

"That won't help you bake any cake. Clearly you have no idea what you're doing." Squip cut the boy off, his eyes half lidding, uninterested in Jeremy's response. 

"But-"

"Even with those recipes, most of which are inaccurate, you still would probably do it wrong. " He boasted slightly, his cold voice coaxing Jeremy to just listen. 

A huff fell from Jeremy's lips before he retorted,"Why don't you show me then how to?"

A pause. The computer wasn't all that intent on helping with something as simple as baking a cake, his lips pulling into a debating and tight frown as he exhaled a synthetic breath through his nose. He now wished he had just let Jeremy bake and mess up, let him figure out with trial and error, as he was preoccupied with matters of repair and upgrading and he was so close to finishing. 

"Please?"

Another pause. "Fine, how many cakes and what kind do you wish to make?" Squip begrudgingly asked, him sneering as he folded his hands behind his back and peered down at Jeremy. 

"Five. U-Uh Five vanilla. Cakes." Jeremy stammered a bit, him leaning up  from the counter and exhaling tiredly.

The computer hummed a short and knowing hum in response.

The computer clapped his hands together and began searching his database for the best recipe to do, a bitter tint to his expression though. Jeremy listened to Squip list off materials as he  retrieved out some bowls for mixing the batter and whipping frosting, him getting a few other kitchen tools and ingredients to make the things; he piled them on the counter, expectantly waiting for Squip to tell him what to do next. The AI directed Jeremy to get the oven preheating already, set to 425 fahrenheit, before telling him to put the flour and sugar and salt in, all the correct and precise amounts. 

"No, less flour. Pour a bit out." Squip ordered, Jeremy pouring some out, possibly a bit too much. 

"No, no. Not _that_ much, Jeremy. Get a bit more," Squip snapped, him watching intently as the lanky male dipped the cup back into the flour. He made sure the amount was right, pausing for a few moments to wait and see if he'd get a negative response; when he got nothing but an approving grunt, he poured it into a bowl, him doing that a few more times. They went through the same process with the salt and sugar and oh god, the liquids were infuriating to them both. 

 _"Careful,_ Jeremy. You're going to spill it if you aren't." The AI pinched the bridge of his nose, him observing as Jeremy poured in some milk into the measuring cup.

"I know, I know..! Just...Just, I can do this, hold on," Jeremy mumbled warily, him putting in the correct amount, being precise since Squip seemed so adamant on getting exact measuring or else he'd chastise Jeremy. 

Then the eggs came, him accidentally cracking it open to hard on the edge of the marble counter and cursing as he watched the yolk run off the side. Snagging a paper towel, he crouched and wiped it up, him grumbling and throwing it into the trash.

"Let me just help you." Squip had pressed behind Jeremy, the brunette jumping at the feeling at a rather muscular body pressing against his back. His face heated up. 

Squip could tell he was messing with Jeremy easily this way; the bunch of 1's and 0's rather got a kick out of seeing that pretty little face all red and hearing him flusteredly stammer. He hadn't even ment for this reaction, he just couldn't quite do it for Jeremy as he couldn't interact with those objects, so he simply decided to lead him. Squip hadn't anticipated such a...delicious reaction.

He felt strong yet slender hands slide over his own, he felt a synthetic breath on his ear as well that rolled down his neck, his hand being led after picking up an egg and gently cracking it open. The computer helped Jeremy with the next eggs, him seemingly pressing more into him, which only made his face flush a brighter and brighter red. "I-I ah...what next?" He asked, him watching as Squip led the other's hand again to grab a whisk and set it into the unmixed mixture. 

The computer remained silent, save for the odd humming he emitted as he obviously now purposely pressed more against Jeremy to mess with him, the grin on his face signifying that even more.  At caressed over Jeremy's hand for a moment, him starting with a slow movement around in a circle in the batter with the mixing device, the low and grumbling melody of a hum now pressed against the brunette's neck, sending chills down his spine. Jeremy felt a hand slide up his other arm, it setting on his waist and rubbing circles with his thumb. 

"How are you...you able to touch me?" Jeremy blurted, him flushing deeper as he began whisking a bit faster as he felt the hand rubbing over his waist. 

"I can manipulate your nerves into thinking I'm touching," Squip explained bluntly, the lowness in his voice putting thoughts in Jeremy's mind that shouldn't be there and sending warmth to places it shouldn't be going. The computer wasn't actually..?

The computer wanted more. More reactions and more squeaks and stammers and just, he gained a sort of gratification from taking a more dominant role like this. The brunette nodded at the answer, him continuing to mix until he felt hips grinding somewhat against him, a gasp eliciting from his lips. He nearly dropped the spoon in the batter, him scrambling and gripping tightly on it as he eased a tad bit. 

"Wh..what the hell are you doing?" He asked, though he quickly shut up as he felt a hand squeeze his waist sharply to silence him. Oh fuck. The feeling of a clothed, what he guessed to be, dick against his ass was well, a rather wonderful feeling. He couldn't help the almost automatic response of grinding down on the computer, his mixing pausing. "Stop that and mix." The computer ordered, him stopping grinding, which only caused Jeremy to whimper quietly and crave more. He continued mixing. 

Squip had his own plan, him rubbing his hands over the front of Jeremy's thigh while his over hand left the brunette's, the AI feeling his satisfying shudder against him as he dug his nails into the skin since the other was wearing shorts.

"Sq...Squip can you please tell me what the hell you're doing..?" He questioned, panting ever so slightly and flushing as he bit his lip as he felt the free hand travel to the growing bulge and rub. 

A moan dripped from Jeremy's mouth, him bucking against the hand and earning an amused chuckle from the computer behind him. He stopped mixing again. 

"Keep mixing, Jeremy," Squip snapped harshly, him smiling again when he saw the other continuing to mix. "And slip your pants and boxers down some."

"What?" Jeremy blurted at the demand, him earning a grumble that made him shiver and a slight squeeze to the bulge that made him tense. Fuck. A hum of satisfaction resonated in his throat, as he kept mixing, his other hand tentatively pushing his shorts and boxers down, him gasping at the feel of cool air and freedom on his dick. 

He nearly melted when he felt fingers wrap around his shaft, Jeremy nearly melting as he felt a thumb rub against the tip already dripping with precum. 

"Already this close, Jeremy?" Squip mused, him kissing and sucking on the side of the other's neck. His gruff voice and marking of his neck made a whimper purr in Jeremy's lips, him thrusting into the other's hand on accident; of course Squip dug his nails into his waist to keep him there. 

"Ah, ah, ah. Stay still and keep mixing the batter, Jeremiah." Squip muttered, him chuckling in a low tone that went straight to the shorter one's dick. 

He began to slowly pump the shaft, slicking it with precum as he teasingly nipped at the crook of Jeremy's neck with a distinct grin, the moan leaving the other's lips sounding like absolute heaven. The aroused brunette kept mixing, panting and moaning softly as he stirred around the batter, Squip sometimes scolding him in a growl to mix faster or slower; it got harder to do that as the computer's hand moved back and forth faster. 

"That's it...you like this? Hm?" Squip asked, his row of grave yard like teeth shining through his lips as he continued to jack the other off. A whine came from the smaller one; so, yes, he did like this. 

"Stop mixing, it's done. Just wait for the oven to finish preheating," Squip muttered, somehow making _that_ sound sensual. Jeremy nearly came right there at the other speaking, him wanting this feeling just a bit longer; he let go of the spoon, it clattering onto the counter as he leaned onto his hands on it as Squip continued to slick his cock from behind. He had to use all the willpower he had in him to not rut into the curly haired one's hand, him groaning out desperate pleads. 

"Faster, f-faster..!" Jeremy begged, him gripping at the marble as he choked out a moan when he felt the hand happily oblige. 

Squip bit down, a surprised squeak emitting from the brunette as he scratched at the countertop and writhed beneath the rather delighted and intrigued program, who adored these reactions and simply ate them up. 

He continued to stroke back and forth on Jeremy's member and soak in the shorter one's pitiful reactions and pleas, his spurs of various curse words and "please" and "faster" and occasionally "Squip". It satisfied him deeply. Moving his hand faster and squeezing ever so slightly, Jeremy felt more warmth pooling in his groin, nearly collasping onto the counter and whining. 

"Shh...sh, sh, sh, Jeremy." Squip cooed, him whispering against his ear, kissing the cartilage, he descendingly nipping until he reached his shoulder and bit again. 

"Come on, cum for me," Squip demanded, in a harsh tone; oh god that was all that Jeremy needed.

He bucked into the other's hand, him shaking as he released his seed and climaxed, him letting out a strangled moan and whimpering. Leaning onto the countertop completely, he knew he had a splattered mess now to clean up and just as he had came, he heard the oven beep, signaling it was done preheating. Panting, Jeremy felt Squip retract his hand, seeming pleased with himself and at the sight he saw before him. 

"Now, Jeremy, you have a cake to bake," The computer reminded teasingly, him earning a short and blunt pant-whine in response. "Mhm, Jeremy. I don't care if you happen to be tired, come on, pull your pants on and continue to complete your task. Oh and...it may be in your best interest to clean up the mess you have made."

Jeremy trembled from the aftermath as he yanked up his shorts, him adjusting the waist band to the cotton clothing and cleaning up his mess. The beep of the oven reminded Jeremy again about those damned cakes he'd have to finish after he wiped up the mess. 

 


End file.
